GHANAIAN MARRIAGES AT RISK: 8 PRESSING THREATS

 A lot of marriages in Ghana tend to fail for so many reasons. It is devastating to go through the stress of getting married only to realize things are not working for you and then you have to find your way out. Some break ups and divorces in marriage are advisable, while others are questionable. Whatever the reason may be, here are a few of the notable motives for divorces in Ghana in recent years. 

1. SOME PASTORS, PROPHETS, "MEN OF GOD" ETC.

Though several marriages are overseen and blessed by Pastors and others in such positions alike, most end up being the same reason why marriages are breaking up. From stories of negative visions about a partner to secretly having their way with some married women, Pastors and such men of religious positions cannot simply be left out of the root causes of divorces in Ghana. Married and unmarried women together are the most vulnerable to this particular issue. The primary reasons for some of these women becoming vulnerable are;

• Infertility; Most women facing infertility issues in their marriages, after a period of clinical diagnosis without success end up in churches appropriating the causes of their marital childlessness to spiritual reasons. Most end up doing questionable things and even undertaking immoral practices just to have a child. Most of these Pastors end up engaging in sexual activities with these women. Some go as far as convincing the women that "God instructed them to have an affair with them(the women), foolishly, some women also fall for this and end up in a quagmire of filth.
• Issues of witchcraft and spiritual background; Most spouses (women especially) who end up seeking solutions to petty marital misunderstandings also fall into the trap of most of these dangerous "men of God". This mostly occurs when these pastors start giving specific ritualistic instructions for the women to carry out. A man who has firm control over his household who would not believe in such issues can decide to call his wife to order and lo, that is where the escalation of an already existing problem may begin.
• Total control of church members; some pastors seem to have some form of control over their female congregation such that they decide when these women should fast, travel, do some form of business, or even when they should be intimate with their husbands. These issues are at times kept private but stand out as one of the causes of divorce in Ghana.
• Unsubstantiated prophecies and visions; most women fall for unsubstantiated prophecies from their pastors hence the issues of broken homes. Some pastors prophesy that some married women are not with the partners God chose for them. This alone is enough to set the beginning of a broken home. Sometimes it unfolds to be that these pastors wanted these women for themselves.

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some pastors are the reason why some marriages fail in Ghana

2. SOME IN-LAWS AND FAMILIES 

A lot of times, some in-laws and families are the main cause of divorce in Ghana. This is when one spouse is being influenced by either their parents or family.

Divorce is bound to happen if one happens to be Mommy's son(daughter) or Daddy's son(daughter) and the other isn't. Frequent interference from a parent or family is one of the reasons for divorce. Unfortunately, this is a common phenomenon in Ghana. Marriage after the ceremony is between the two couples strictly and there should be no room for a third party unless otherwise. 

Some in-laws can also cause divorce in marriages

3. BAD FRIENDS

Some friends have been the reason why a lot of marriages have collapsed in Ghana. Most friends are great threats to some marriages. Especially friends who don't keep mute, friends who tell lies, and friends who end up being a source of negative influence. Most women are usually influenced negatively to leave marriages and relationships by bad characters only to regret it later. Then, there are the hellish friends who may even want to have your wife or husband for themselves. Most divorce cases when probed carefully can be traced to bad friends being the source of ignition. Always keep friends out of your marriage to avoid issues.

Bad friends are a cause of divorce in some Ghanaian marriages

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4. TASTE FOR POLYGAMY 

A lot of men in Ghana have a taste for polygamy, which in itself is legal and allowed in our customs. However, the difficulty of failing to discuss it with the woman is the main hurdle that leads to divorce in most marriages. This is because most Ghanaians are adopting Western culture. Gone were the days when men married more than once and still maintained peace and togetherness in the family. 

Though polygamy has its downsides, it is still what brought forth our current generation since we all are byproducts of such families in one way or the other. The problem is most men fail to be honest and firm with their partners for fear of losing them, they will hide a second partner from the initial one and later be seen as cheating partners. It is never wrong to be polygamous in Ghana let alone many parts of Africa if only one has the means to manage his spouses and home peacefully. If men were bold enough and honest enough to tell women their intentions from the initial stages of a relationship or choose customary marriage over ordinance, a lot of marriages would have been saved and a lot of men would be seen as promiscuous. Men must learn to make the right choice and present the facts as it is to women in Ghana to prevent the issue of most divorces in Ghana.

Taste for polygamy can cause divorce in some Ghanaian marriages

5. SUDDEN NEGATIVE CHANGES IN CHARACTER

This goes both ways. Either the man or woman comes up with some negative character that the other partner cannot put up with. This usually happens when one partner begins to cheat, has given up on the other due to something he/she has complained about time and again or wants to end the marriage. This is something that happens over time and is not a sudden event. It can take years for someone to learn a bad character, get influenced negatively, or give up on someone. A sudden negative change in character could also be the result of hard drug intake for whatever the reason may be, but as a noted fact, it is a cause of divorce in Ghana.

Sudden negative changes in character can cause divorce in marriage

6. CHEATING

It is usually not a big deal when a man cheats in Ghana, especially if he is not a public figure or someone holding a leadership position. But it is huge when a woman cheats in Ghana, a cheating woman can wreak a lot of havoc than a cheating husband since the woman can conceal pregnancy. Most tribes in Ghana also tend to inherit in paternal direction, hence the big frown on cheating women. A few women also seek divorce once they find their husbands cheating especially if they took a vow of ordinance. On a normal occasion, if the man is providing all the needs of the woman, it's difficult for the woman to seek divorce over cheating in Ghana. With cheating, it won't be an issue if most Ghanaian men come clean when it comes to the number of women they will want to settle with, but it's a big issue when a woman is caught in that act.

Cheating is one of the main causes of divorce in Ghanaian marriages

7. "EXES"

For some of the marriages that hit the rock in Ghana, it got a lot of things to do with an ex. Another two-sideway concern, some individuals seem to be loose when it comes to their "exes" and current partners. Some give a lot of attention to their "exes" until it becomes a bone of contention. This subject can include both spouses, it's not limited to only men or women. Some men and women find it difficult to part with their past and these when not put in check can easily lead to a divorce, there have been several reported cases like that.

Ex-partners have been the cause of some divorce cases in Ghana

8. SEX ADDICTION AND SEXUAL DRIVE MISMATCHING

A bit controversial but a solid fact. Most couples in Ghana may not have similar sex drives which can lead to extramarital affairs. Another main area is the addiction to sex, an addicted man may lack sexual control and can end up raping or defiling victims. While a sexually addicted woman may end up being a cheap commodity every man can easily lure and have his way with. These are unspoken areas in the holy books of Ghanaian culture since it is just naturally difficult to discuss both publicly and privately. A high sexual drive may be attributed to psychological issues, natural occurrence by age, or overindulgence in sex. Though both spouses may fail to admit this, it has been a silent cause of divorce in Ghana. While most Ghanaian men may feel shy to discuss these issues in public, women often do so when they are together and feel the urge to share. 

Sex and differences in sexual drive can cause divorce in Ghana

When it comes to marriage, money, and finances have no power to cause a divorce, once it does, that means, there wasn't true commitment from one spouse or both. Though it's mostly women who flee in terms of financial hardship in a marriage, they would not attest to it openly in Ghana.

Also, sicknesses aside HIV, mental disorders, or any type that may hinder marriage, should not be counted as a reason for divorce. It deepens the confirmation that there wasn't enough commitment in the marriage. 

Death is not added as a reason for divorce since it is the end of life and nothing more counts when it lays its icy hands on us. 

There is also the issue of abuse, verbally or physically, it hasn't been discussed as these are things that can be usually noticed before marriage if there is enough diligence and investigation about each spouse. Both men and women are not abusive within days, it is something that is buried within the psyche and can be seen when triggered. Therefore it will be a dilemma to consider it a reason for divorce as one should not even think of marrying an abusive partner let alone divorce.

These are some of the main threats to marriages in Ghana as seen and witnessed on countless occasions. If these situations are managed properly, there will be fewer divorce cases in Ghana.